I Hate Bras

This piece was submitted by guest blogger Ginny Callaway. Send us your story or short article and we’ll contact you if it works as a guest blog. Click here to share.

Let me get that out of the way first thing.

I hate bras.

The first thing I do every day when I get home is take my bra off.

When I was in fifth grade, I was tall and very thin. Although I had already become a woman, I had no signs of physical maturity. All the places that would eventually become hairy were still smooth and my chest looked the same as it did when I was six.

Classmates were blossoming and budding, adding a rounded shape to our tailored shirtwaist uniforms. My uniform hung straight down from my wide shoulders to my small waist. No protrusions whatsoever.

Helen was in the same shape. We decided we’d do something about it, even if we got busted.

One Saturday, Helen and I walked from her house to a small shop specializing in clothes for young girls. We casually wandered through the dresses, blouses, sweaters, not wanting to seem too obvious in our mission. Slowly, indifferently, we made our way to the area where the bras were. We looked at them for a minute or two before actually touching one. Our eyes fell on what was called a “training bra.” Perfect. That’s just what we needed. Something to bring the reluctant dark pink circles on our chest to life. A bra to train our breasts how to behave. Now we’re talking.

We did have one problem. We only had enough money for one bra and there were two of us. But we didn’t see that as a problem. Helen would wear it for one week and I would wear it for the next week. It might take a little longer to train our buds to blossom, but we had time. A deal was struck and a bra was bought.

And it worked! By the end of fifth grade, little bumps were forming.

Then the unspeakable happened. My mother wanted to take me shopping for bras. As she said, “To cover your little marbles.”  Oh God, spare me. What could be more embarrassing? Marbles, Mom? Of all the words to choose…geez.

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Off we went to Robinson’s department store in Pasadena. After a tête-à-tête with the sales lady, a sampling of bras appeared in a dressing room. I tried them on. Guess which one fit? The training bra. My marbles needed more training. Fine by me, just get me out of there.

By fifteen, my tatas did grow and I was able to fill an A cup and the top of a tiny bikini.

By twenty, I was a long-haired, tie-dyed hippie. I abandoned wearing a bra. I didn’t burn them, just shoved them to the back of my top dresser drawer.

It wasn’t until I became pregnant that bras re-entered the picture. These were not training bras or petite A cup lingerie items with delicate pink flowers. These were honking garments complete with three rows of hooks in the back, inch-wide straps and drop down front doors. I don’t remember if those bras had cups sizes. Let’s just size I was now wearing size huge.

As I grew older, bras came and went in my life. As I aged, my body went from lithe to luscious, or more accurately, post-menopausal fat.

My boobs grew with me. These days, at 65, I go to the gym three times a week and horseback ride twice a week. I need a bra. But finding one with straps that don’t end up three inches off my shoulders in five minutes or squeeze my chest with military-grade wire is impossible.

So, Ladies, let me hear from you. Do you have THE bra that meets the above demands? I need your support.

- Ginny Callaway, Fabulous Over 60 Reader/Guest Blogger

Trying New Things … My Turn

In her recent Trying New Things article, Patty challenged me and other readers to come up with three to six new things we’ve tried over the past 12 months.

What a depressing task! After wracking my brain for two weeks, I’ve come to the realization that I haven’t done many NEW things at all! And, what I have done doesn’t seem very interesting.

However, in the spirit of accepting her challenge, here goes:

1.) I’ve tried a couple of new looks in clothes. I have been a “boring black” kind of person for a long time. Black pants, black jackets, black skirts, black dresses … occasionally brightened up with a colorful tank or multicolored jacket. Why? I was/am convinced that black makes me look thinner. The last straw was when a woman friend, who toured my new closet, said “Wow, you’ve really got a lot of black stuff!” So, I made some changes this year. I have three pair of white pants (which I wear with black tops, of course), I bought a yellow outfit (yellow pants and yellow/green blouse) and I’ve livened up my tank tops and scarves with greens, purples and bright blues. I also did the ankle-length pants thing this year (only with high heels, ladies!) – I resisted that trend for so long that it will probably go quickly go out of fashion now that I am on board.

pants2.) I’ve upgraded my home computer to a Hewlett-Packard with a really cool, huge touch screen. Since I write a lot, this works for me, even though the younger generation is going in the opposite direction … smaller and smaller screens. I also found a couple of apps that work very well.   One is Dashlane – a site that captures all of my passwords AND auto-fills them when I visit the websites stored there. It even auto-fills my shipping and billing addresses and credit card numbers. As Ray likes to tell people, his wife can now buy things from Amazon in less than 2 ½ seconds! (Check it out… you come up with one overall password to remember and the site remembers all of the others for you. At this age, everything helps.)

3.) I tried a new brand of contact lenses after sticking with a brand for over 10 years that my ophthalmologist says is so antiquated that only two of his patients still use them. My new lenses last up to a month and they are supposedly better for my eyes since they let them breathe. I didn’t even know eyes could breathe. They are called Biofinity from CooperVision.

4.) I began blocking off every Wednesday afternoon for golf with Ray. Before I did that, I would commit to business calls or nail appointments. Now Wednesdays are sacred – except for next week’s hair appointment which, as I tried to tell Ray, is MANDATORY!

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5.) As an introvert, I don’t really enjoy interacting all that much with retail employees in places like stores, restaurants or movie theaters. This past year, however, I’ve worked harder to connect in some way just to prove to myself that it doesn’t hurt and can actually be kind of fun. (Patty, my extroverted friend, you will NOT understand this one at all!)

6.) I have begun writing down information about people I meet socially in a journal. I capture things like names of kids and grandkids, special interests, hometowns, and more.  Why? There are two main reasons:  #1. Ray and I can’t remember S***! And #2. See #1.

So, there you have it. The six new things I’ve done this past year. The six things it took me two weeks to come up with.

I’ve decided that my next 12 months are going to be a little more exciting. Here’s a website I found to give me some inspiration – Live Bold and Bloom. A blog post on their site outlines 26 ways to make your life more exciting.

Right now, I’m torn between skydiving and rearranging my furniture. I’ll keep you posted.

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Cathy Green

He’s Hot, We’re Not

Went to a Broadway show with a close friend about a week ago. We took the train into what those of us in the tri-state area around NYC call “the city”. Neither of us had seen Broadway productions recently so we thought we would go down, stand on the half-price ticket line (yes, that is where there was a bus crash recently) and have some time to wander and have a great lunch — all of which we did.

Here are some thoughts about the adventure:

  • Women friends, real friends cannot stop talking with and to each other. If you can’t make conversation with someone at this point – skip getting together – you have more than enough to say to those you love. The exception? A NEW friend — someone you really do not even know yet but who attracts you in your heart or gut.
  • One on one trips/adventures are the best and easiest. Only two people adjusting to each other is a dream — especially since both Dona and I are old codependent girls from WAY back. If you have no clue about the term co-dependent, you weren’t paying attention in the 70s and 80s — go back and take a look at the famous Codependent No More. Of course we have “worked on” ourselves, but we still say “no, you choose” forever back and forth.

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  • The Broadway TKTS place where you get half price tickets is great — but the lines are L-O-N-G and it takes time. If you want to see a 2PM matinee do get there at 9:30 or 10AM – you’ll have tickets by 11 or so and can relax and have a leisurely lunch before the show. Getting there at 11:30 makes it tight — and why do something that close to the wire? It made great sense with two jobs, doing most of the housework, kids, older parents, volunteer work and going to the gym every day — at this point, rushing like crazy is crazy in itself.
  • There is a reason Broadway shows are forever famous and fun — they are the top — even if the story isn’t the greatest the acting and/or the singing is usually over the top. We saw Violet - a revival from the late 90s neither of us had seen. The singing, the show itself were riveting. We loved it!! Sorry – it closes or closed August 10th.

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  • The setting was 1964 in the south — you can already get the point — we both noticed the audience of mostly under 40s didn’t seem to get the gasps supposedly related to the interracial couple – thank God.

But here is something that really hit me/us. The story had three main characters – all young and great looking (under 30) – in a love triangle. The young guys to Dona and I were gorgeous — we found ourselves lusting for them in our hearts (yes, it was stupid when Jimmy Carter said it or supposedly said it and it is equally idiotic now).

Or, to put it another way, we realized that there really is no replacement for youth in that aspect of life — the energy, the exuberance, the passion, the promise — oh this is too depressing. The point of this blog post is of course treasuring your friends and planning fun outings with them (ho hum) — but still, it hurt a tiny bit that love triangles – especially with under 30 men – are not likely in our future. Yes, they are hot, and we are not. Happy, but not hot.

Women-talking

 

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Get Out of Your Comfort Zone – But Don’t Zone Out!

Cathy and I have been exploring “trying new things” in a number of our last blogs. Cathy’s attempt to grab Prince George’s birthday as a way to share about HER year and plans for the next was an example. For us over-60s success is about not just getting out of our comfort zones but trying not to zone out.

Are you bored (or more freaked out) by funeral services? At this point they are more common than weddings — a bad sign I fear.

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Do your grandchildren grate on your nerves or seem mundane and uninteresting sometimes even though (of course) you adore them?

Do you find yourself trying hard not to doze off at a concert, while reading a great book, or even when sex is discussed much less happens or is scheduled?

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Staying awake and fully aware is becoming more challenging. We are not zoning out because we don’t care, don’t want to be involved and excited and enriched by life and all the people, places and things in it, but just because it often seems like we’ve “been there, done that” or “heard that, seen that”. Sometimes I am finding that it is harder to WANT to tune in. And that bothers me even more.

With the ugly and terrifying news in Ukraine, Israel/Gaza, the southern US border it is tempting to totally tune out – what’s a fabulous woman to do?

Don’t confuse moving out of your comfort zone (good) with zoning out (mostly NOT good). Understanding significant current events is important—as a citizen of the world, your country and your local town. Just read news versus watching news if you are hyper sensitive—it’s a better way to digress information. And perhaps change the source of your news — go with the BBC instead of CNN. That gets you out of your comfort zone but not zoned out.

Try to bring different hearing and attention to what is going on by asking different questions than you typically do — “Carol, saw you reading the new Clinton book that is getting mixed reviews—what’s your take?” Take more chances in interactions with others — especially if you are often with the same people.

Refuse to do the following:

Thinking, or worse expressing that young people are this, that or the other — but certainly less than we are/were/or will be.

Assuming nothing interesting can happen when the people are the same — we’re all changing if we give each other some fresh air.

Letting yourself off the hook on every single thing with the “I’m tired” or “I don’t feel like it” generic wimp out.

You can stay awake — at least till 9:30 PM — if you stop staying in your own comfort zone and start allowing the strange, new and somewhat frightening things in the door. Whether it’s tasting octopus, meeting a new potential friend for coffee, or trying a unique volunteer opportunity—push yourself with love out of the usual.

Just started a 6 session telecourse with 150 people called Finding Your Way In a Wild New World by Martha Beck. This is for sure lighting a fire under my sense of who and what I can be and do moving forward. But you know I did find myself dozing a little half way through the first session and getting through the dozens of Facebook messages on our course’s closed group page.

Prince George Turns 1 and I Turn 64

OK… I’m shamelessly using this headline about Prince George in order to attract readers to our blog site. Everyone wants to know about Prince George turning 1. No one wants to know about me turning 64. And, of course these two things have nothing to do with one other, right? But, because I’ve gotten you to read this blog, I’ll make a connection a little later…

First…

I was shocked to hear that Prince George is turning 1. It seems like only a couple of months ago that we were bombarded (I mean thrilled) by everything having to do with the royal birth. People Magazine’s cover story this week screams … George Turns 1, Raising a Little Prince! Inside, incredible details about George’s past 12 months are presented in cute little bubbles, with the requisite 20 or so cute little photos.

(Yes, I read People Magazine. Please don’t judge me.)

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The article about the “perfectly adorable” Prince George provides details like the fact that he has travelled more than 32,000 miles to Mustique, Australia/New Zealand and Scotland. He has visited the zoo, participated in play dates and made new friends. And … so precious … he just started walking and is pictured accompanying his dad to a Father’s Day polo match.

What an event-filled life!

Are you ready for the connection?

This past year has gone by in a flash. What have I done with my 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days and 8,766 hours?

Here are the highlights:

  • I’ve gotten my teeth cleaned 3 times
  • I’ve had my hair cut and highlighted 8 times
  • I’ve played golf about 30 times (recording my score 0 times to avoid embarrassment)
  • I’ve written 24 blogs for this site
  • I’ve wrecked the car once
  • I’ve gained 2 pounds
  • I binge-watched 13 episodes of Orange is the New Black

Actually, it wasn’t quite as uneventful as it sounds. Like George, I have had some play dates with friends (including last month in Florida with my Fabulous Over 60 partner, Patty) and I traveled 924 miles to Maine last fall.

Writing this blog post, in addition to depressing me, is making me reconsider what I’m going to do with my next 12 months. I’d like to have a better story when Prince George’s 2nd birthday rolls around. Suggestions appreciated.

By the way, I already have plans to travel to the Turks and Caicos in September … 1,114 miles. The race is on, baby George!

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Cathy Green

July 17, 2014

Trying New Things

Getting out of our comfort zones gets harder every year. But the life coach in me gets crazy and starts admonishing myself to give new things a try. There are of course things, and things. Trying a new religion is hardly the same as giving up Essie’s Ballet Slippers as your favorite nail polish — but then again, we can get petty in older age if we are not careful turning nail polish (or whatever minor thing) into a major lifestyle issue.

Here are a few rather insignificant things I have tried this year — maybe they will amuse, motivate or amaze you. Start your own list to keep being fabulous. Yes, it can be a very short list. Go for 3 items. I did 6 so you would be motivated to take the next step. See this YouTube video on creating change — very interesting!

1. I never liked the way Spanx felt. Though of course the CEO is to be congratulated on her amazing journey to be the first self-made woman billionaire in the USA. Have tried and love the less expensive Heather Thomson “Yummie” items for keeping me trim.

2. Downloaded an app that really is simple and helpful — it is called The Vault. It keeps all usernames and passwords and other types of annoying but necessary rows of numbers or words so I can stop lamenting having to have them. Start the search for apps not by looking at lists of them, but writing down what drives you crazy – where is the nearest post office?  WHATEVER — trust me, there is an app for that! Apple and IBM are teaming up on apps now — got to be some great ones coming!

3. I cancelled plans to go to a family party due to an important shift in summer plans. I called and talked with the hostess. She lived. Most people constantly change plans — bet you know a few hundred. I don’t want to become a person who can’t be counted on by other fabulous women/men – most of whom believe if you make plans you keep to those plans — but commitment just for the sake of commitment sometimes just doesn’t make sense.

4. I have eliminated powder blush. If it’s been more than 2 years since you emptied the makeup drawer, take it all to a makeup counter of your choice (try a new one – just pick the woman or man who looks most patient) and decide with help what to keep, toss and otherwise change. Even if you do not want to spend large amounts on makeup, go at least once to a counter at a department store to learn — many of those women and men really do know what they are doing — although of course they are going to try to sell you. You are worth it and can use drug store brands once you learn what to do. Also see Toss the Gloss: Beauty Tips, Tricks & Truths for Women 50+

gloss book5. I stopped using my Kindle and went back to books while trying not to be embarrassed reading them anywhere but at home. Keeping my MacBook and iPhone but it only makes sense to carry a device like a Kindle or iPad to simplify reading – especially on trips. Am hoping to push myself to all digital magazines and newspapers. Not there yet but making progress.

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6. I no longer own a single suit. Anyone who hasn’t seen me in 5 years will not believe this and wonder what I did with the suits I owned (found them new younger homes). It was time not just to “weed out but to actually let go and re-create” some of my looks. Also I do keep weeding — I never buy something without letting something go in that same category.

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OK, your turn. Keep us posted!

 

 

 

My 2014 Half Year Insights

1.) Making a clear choice on what to do and what NOT to do is ABSOLUTELY working for me. I have considerably narrowed both the type and time of my work efforts. Something professional must be something I am passionate about (meaning it interests me and feels important enough to spend time doing) and that makes me happy – even if the effort brings little money or prestige. Am writing several blogs, doing one-on-one life coaching with selected and committed clients (my max is 5 at any given time) and creating online content to provide inexpensive but practical workplace advice. Narrowing my focus has helped with all aspects of my writing.  New, more specific goals for the second half of the year are in progress with a smaller number of projects.  Hurrah!

2.) The decision to read two pages of spiritual reading per night – one new, and one a repeat of the previous night’s reading (using Self-Meditation: 3,299 Mantras, Tips, Quotes and Koans for Peace and Serenity) – has made a concrete difference in my stress level and feelings of peace.

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3.) Ceasing to seek constant advice from outside sources when I clearly know the answer and just need to implement it: definitely an important lesson for me — AGAIN but sticking to it this time! Went back to Weight Watchers (this time online – which was easy, relatively, once I figured it out). Weighing myself weekly and attempting to keep cutting portion size helped me lose weight.

4.) Buying something really fabulous that I feel (however foolishly) is something classic and usable “forever” is good for my soul and helps me increase the stuff going OUT of my closet. That which is an essential task of being fabulous — if I haven’t worn it in a while and it isn’t my wedding dress – it goes. Am hoping to get rid of my wedding dress soon.

The “buy” was a pair of classic Chanel pumps on final clearance at Saks. I may fall down in them before they wear out/go out of style.

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5.) The decision to just go ahead and do a few things never done before or buy a different brand or type of product/service – and most importantly stop doing some things I know don’t work – have all proven to be smart choices. I exercised my “out of my comfort zone” muscles in both small and large ways — and appreciated the results — not all of which worked but were, at least, interesting.

6.) Keeping my close friends and close family as a priority – yet not feeling any specific obligation to do or attend any given event is a delicate and tough balance worth continually striving for. That combination is making for more fun, less guilt and helps to know who needs to be in (and who needs to be booted from) my/our inner circle.

This combined with constantly lowering my expectations of others (oh do try this if you haven’t already — a true winner strategy) while keeping my expectations of myself high (because that is who I am and how I define myself) is shaping my life to be more of what I want, what I feel truly comfortable with, and with much less feelings of hurt, disappointment or anger.

Hope you learned some lessons from your own experiences as well. Would love to hear about them.

I Miss My Hair

First, I need to admit that I have always had hair envy. In the 60′s, during my teenage years, it was fashionable to have long straight black hair like my friend Bonnie. Since both my mother and father had thick dark hair, by rights I should have had it too.

Cher Portrait

But no. I had thin, mousy brown hair … and even worse — it was wavy. Wavy was definitely not “groovy”. This was well before hot irons, so when my hair was wavy, it stayed wavy. Humidity was my bitter enemy.

I wrote a blog post last year about hair (do you think this might be an obsession?) and admitted to using an ironing board to straighten it at age 16. I’m lucky I didn’t scorch it beyond repair.

Now in my 60′s, my hair still gets wavy…and, of course, once again, straight hair is back in fashion. But that doesn’t bother me as much as the fact that my already thin hair has gotten thinner.

A combination of getting older (which gets the blame for everything) and, until recently, an undiagnosed thyroid hormone issue (which is related to getting older, right?) are the culprits. I work with it … spending a lot of money and time on hair styling, coloring and “products”… and think I am doing pretty well. But I still worry that it could get worse one of these days.

Unfortunately, the hair on my head isn’t the only hair that is thinning. The truth is, hair all over my body has gradually disappeared. It happened slowly, but I began to realize a few years ago that I didn’t need to shave my legs or underarms as often as I used to. And my eyebrows didn’t seem to need as much tweezing.

So, you’d think that I would be happy about this lower maintenance, right? Well, I’m not.

I was talking to my friend Lizbeth recently as we sunbathed at a pool (yes, we wore bathing suits in front of people!). Out of the blue, she said … “Did your mother ever tell you that you would lose hair on your body in places you always had hair – and find it growing in places you didn’t, like on your chin? .. “No, I said, did yours?” It turns out that this was not a mother-daughter discussion that either of us had experienced, so neither of us expected these weird hair changes. (And those same mothers didn’t tell us about bigger ears, feet and noses — but that’s another blog post.)

Why didn’t they warn us about this so that we wouldn’t narcissistically think it was our own personal, never-before-experienced hair issue? Could it be that they thought it was their own personal, never-before-experienced hair issue?

If you are over 60 and losing hair and your mother never talked to you about it, consider this blog as something like a public service announcement … You are not alone!

Actually, we should probably feel lucky about these hair losses since it seems to be all the rage these days to get rid of every single bit of hair everywhere but on the head. Waxing, laser treatments and even a new “do it yourself” permanent hair removal tool (ouch!) that I saw advertised last week on late night television are all designed to save women from … god forbid … shaving armpits, legs or other parts. Men are getting in the act too. Smooth, hairless chests, backs and even “other areas” are apparently a big thing. No doubt the beauty industry is making a fortune.

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Maybe I should be thankful that I am back in style… Not much hair but without the pain.

Well, I’m not. I’d rather have my hair.

 

Photo credits: here and here

Movie Musts

Bill and I are movie nuts. We also GO to the movies weekly, sometimes twice in a week (that is when you know you are only partially employed). We always seem to be there with 5000 younger people seeing the latest “adventure” (lots of action and technology and volume through the roof) film. We now skip those.

I have two very strong recommendations for every FabulousOver60 reader. Both touched me and educated me in useful ways for our lives right now. Likely more than a few of you have seen one or both — but trust me if you haven’t, both will be favorites and are mature and adult.

Ida:

This is a fantastic history lesson and identity story set in 1962 Poland. It focuses on a young woman who was raised in a convent but learns through her aunt that she is Jewish. “The scene” for me as a coach/fabulous woman wanting to impart shreds of wisdom is when she and someone she has met while “on leave” from the convent (don’t want to play the part of spoiler) start discussing future life options. She keeps asking the question “and then what?” To me this is the coaching line of all time to help younger people think through their options and begin to unravel the importance of choice. Looking back, this may have been a line a loving aunt or friend shared with me as I embarked on my own life. This is a sad movie — but I loved and predicted the ending – Bill didn’t. It’s interesting who does and does not predict a film’s ending. Sharpen your own choice-making at this stage of your life and learn how to help others make their own best choices with this pitch perfect film.

Here is a movie review to really persuade you to see it — but read it after you see the movie — to me it spoils it some.

Chef:

Everything I ever needed to learn about social media was in this modern, heartfelt film that has nothing to do with teaching anyone about social media. But it is truly perfect for those of us still wondering how the whole ‘social media thing’ really works. Meanwhile as you are learning you will be hugely entertained by Dustin Hoffman as an LA restaurateur, Jon Favreau as a dad who becomes a truly sensational father while solving his own career issues, Robert Downey Jr. as a rich ex, and the mom (Sophia Vergara) who handles divorce with grace. The food is so mouthwatering – and plays a starring role. If cooking (or eating) is your thing you will love the kitchen action.

What is the big lesson for me/us? When people in our generation did something really stupid in our lives (hey, pick your really stupid thing) it hung over them forever. We always prayed no one would know – or everyone would forget. We thank God they didn’t have social media then. But the twist is, all that openness existing with the “help” of social media actually works to support and allow moving forward and moving on. Keeping secrets, the skill of our age group, had some great points – but it did not necessarily teach us to let go and move on. LOVED that social media lesson. Think you will love the film.

A review to read – again, maybe after seeing the movie.

The summer has started. Other than having to wear a swimsuit it is going to be the best summer ever – I know you understand.

 

OMG – They Are Wearing THAT?

“OK young lady — you just march right up stairs and change into something more appropriate to go to Aunt Jane’s — and while you are there take off all that ridiculous makeup!!”

OK let’s wake up from the 50s and 60s. Even if we could bring ourselves to say something this archaic, it would have zero impact on the “listener”.

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Let’s start with the concept of “appropriate”. This word has disappeared from the language — very few people think there is such a thing as “being appropriately dressed”. From what I observe at airports, restaurants, religious events, concerts, graduations, family parties in the suburbs, and other venues is that many people – especially, but not limited to younger ones – do not grasp the concept of appropriate dressing.

Being appropriate means you choose and wear clothes not just because you like something or are comfortable in it, but to present yourself in a way that communicates to others. More specifically, presenting yourself to those hosting events, or owning establishments that work hard to please, that shows you care, appreciate the time and effort others put in, and want to celebrate or observe something important to others. Unless it is your own birthday party or wedding, one should spend some time thinking of how what you are wearing is perceived by others.

This of course is counter-cultural – the notion of ‘grab all the attention you can whenever you can’ seems to be the norm. “Being sexy is always a great look — man or woman — anytime, anyplace. If others don’t like it they are likely just jealous.” Or, at the other end, “I can’t be bothered to try to look a little pulled together — sure people used to care — but now — If I am OK with my ‘look’ the heck with anyone else.”

Is there a nice way for us to explain that neither extreme is appropriate? That both the “worship of sexy” look as well as the “I give up and will wear the same thing every day/year” look are EQUALLY inappropriate in most situations?

Let’s try to explain to some with the “hooker look” that it isn’t that the look is bad – it’s just that often times it is inappropriate; not thoughtful of how others see or perceive you given the setting. And, at the other end of the spectrum, let’s consider raising the standard a bit and trying a little harder to dress with care about yourself and others. Just being comfortable is not a universal rule that lets you off the hook from having standards about how you present yourself.

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In the modern age the term “appropriate” does not comprise a list of arbitrary dos and don’ts that went out with hoop skirts. It is not a moral command to resist being sexy. It is not being a prude or being a fancy pants person that should “chill out”. It is thinking and acting as if others’ sensibilities are valuable and important and should be respected. That’s really modern and fresh – paying some attention to what others think. OMG … really?

 

Photo credits: here, here, here and here

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