So how do we do it? How do we take our lives as they are now, filled with reminders of aging, and health issues whether we want them to be or not, and keep our perspective upbeat, happy and balanced toward the positive? How do we stay fabulous, engaged, and forward thinking despite twists in our life path we didn’t see coming that were or are real and hurtful?
I think the answer is that we need to change our perspective on life. Most of us have not really changed our perspective on “how life works or should be” for a long time. That needs to change.
Our perspective should now include the likelihood that we WILL live another 20 years or more – because most of us who are alive in our fabulous 60s will make into our 70s, 80s if not our 90s. While we may be starting to think “life is short”, the reality is that for most of us our lives are not going to be short. We are going to have to start right now getting used to the fact that there is a lot more to our lives ahead than we thought – and that our perspective has to start including visions of ourselves in the years ahead in many different possible scenarios.
Here’s some of my latest new perspective on being fabulous at 67, gained from much introspection and work since 2017 began.
My Fabulous perspective is a state of mind, not body. Looking healthy and being healthy is my perfect way to look. I will spend money to look as good as I can in my own eyes, but feel much less compulsive to be perfect-looking. Some aging is just the facts: women my own age or older no longer automatically depress me. Some of them actually look great to me. My perspective includes being open to new ways of dressing – but never not caring about how I look.
Any medical issues, feelings of being tired and stressed, can be dealt with if I just accept feeling good 80% of the time versus expecting or wanting to feel great all the time. Based on some recent experience it is also my perspective that it is often best to just ignore little physical problems. Things seem to resolve with just being kind to myself. I am not afraid of dying and don’t ever plan to be. Suffering is out – and my perspective is that suffering can be handled and I will have that help.
My Fabulous vision includes thinking of myself as strong, capable, and willing to be flexible. Just because I leave the refrigerator door open when not meaning to, or keep forgetting actors’ names, does not mean I am not strong, capable and willing to be flexible.
I definitely am believing in more of what is intangible than what is tangible – the woo-woo zone. Not a bad thing, it is a way of thinking that suggests everything or anything is possible. We may have had past lives. Maybe there are angels, or lives “on the other side” who may be sending us thoughts of peace or good will. Or maybe there is a spiritual reason for one or another bad thing happening. Maybe things truly ARE “meant to be”. And faith – my perspective includes having some strong faith and more faith always. It helps make it clear to me that life is not all about me, by any means.
My perspective includes visions of me as a much older women with lots of comfort in my life and things I want to do. I could handle and enjoy being single if that happens. I could date again, or fall in love again. I can live lots of places and enjoy them and/or downsize. There is no place I must be to be happy and secure. There is no “has to be” ending. There is only “has to end” happily and peacefully.
Finally, my perspective includes no expectations of life being easy, simple or a sea cruise. I am committed to being healthy in mind and heart and working on myself. This year has been hard for me – but it is getting easier because I am clearer about what thought processes I have that have to go. Fabulous women wash not just their hair, but their minds. They know letting go of what doesn’t work is another of life’s secrets to being truly happy.