Fabulous now is about accepting what is, and building and living in our own able-to-be-penetrated bubble. We choose what comes in and out with open eyes and heart and ears, we focus on fewer things, but our important things, we continue to be kind and have come to realize as have other mature people that kindness counts more than nearly anything else. We are back marching and resisting or maybe only paying attention in a limited way — we know ourselves, do what we must and don’t judge others.
We are posting this blog in two parts. Part one focuses on “then” which is the time we started FabulousOver60.com around 2010 at the beginning of our sixties.
Next week we will post part two – which shares all the experiences that led to our changing conception of being fabulous and how we went from the visual on our Facebook page being a lily to our visual now being a group of special perfume bottles. Love to have your thoughts and reactions.
I turned 68 on January 20th. In the years that Cathy and I have been writing FabulousOver60 we have shared our evolving challenges and attempted solutions in regards to family, friends, work, health, volunteering, culture, beauty, serenity, spirituality, vacations, homes, and moving — nearly everything except politics (a conscious decision). We have heard from many of you who have supported our efforts at being positive, funny, and openly sharing our own foibles and not-quite-perfect efforts to avoid losing our fabulousness. We were pretty sure we knew much of what was ahead back in 2010 — the issue for us as we began living those years was worrying about how we would handle the realities of being 60-something and not get pushed off a high ridge into “un”-fabulousness.
Our original fabulous model was a nearly ageless women still caring about her outside self as much as her heart and mind. Fabulous was carrying on as we had in our 50s but at a slightly more leisurely pace. We stood by the concept of women multitasking — yes we thought one should know how and actually do as many of the following as possible, preferably at the same time: look totally awesome and put together; prepare food, cook & serve it; keep all things in neat and orderly; work at something to earn money or earn respect that is clearly worth doing and yet fits into a semi-retired lifestyle (being created); work on our lives seeking out new/interesting roles; stay current on world and national events; keep weight stable and exercise frequently since of course we’ll have more time for things like tennis or golf or hiking; have great relationships; and volunteer as frequently as possible to save the world in a meaningful way.
Our definition also suggested we avoid acting or being old as much as possible — skip those early dinners and pre-set routines that we found so annoying in our parents. When faced with a challenge take it full on, using skills from our earlier life and act confident and calm, but keep going. Stay a bit edgy, have a great sense of humor and of course be a kind, decent human being. Oh and be ready to share your wisdom and charm that certainly some, if not many, younger people will find interesting and useful. I know you are laughing at this last sentence. Talk about a false assumption!!
As our 60s unfolded we began to take in some new information and real-world experiences. “Doing it all” and “having it all” were on shaky ground to begin with and we learned first hand they are completely outdated for good reasons. We tossed those out. Our energy wasn’t up to what we often thought it should be to stay fabulous. We became okay with that. Fabulous can apply to only certain times. One or two or three things a day started making more sense than a fully scheduled day – even if the schedule took place at a spa. Am okay with that too. Standards around our eternal touch stones continued to erode: forget thank you notes, people didn’t RSVP for weddings! We made adjustments and practiced forgiveness. We lowered our expectations of others but kept some selected high expectations of ourselves because they defined us in ways WE think are fabulous.
And yes, there is more. See part two next week.