My Mixed Reviews On Being Fabulous

Am I fabulous?  Am I keeping myself strong both personally and professionally? Pulled together? Sharp? Am I doing what I want in ways that are sane, fulfilling and that mark me as a woman who is handling her sixties with grace, style, wit and proper modesty?  Am I continuing to grow, keeping my head and heart and body strong and functioning, or am I just — well, you know — just another NOT fabulous women.

Let me share some feedback.

Scene one: Doctor’s Office/Having yearly physical.

Nurse: Now, try to remember these three words: Table, Apple, Fence.  We’ll come back to those in just a few moments.  Blah blah blah for 5 minutes.

Nurse: What were those three words?

Me: Hmmm… was Apple one of them?

Review: Mixed, very mixed.


Scene two: Doctor’s Office/Yearly physical

Doctor: You still weigh 105+ (feel free to guess, I am not sharing).

Doctor: It is great how your weight is so stable.

Me: Thanks, said softly

Me thinking: stable is good — 5lbs less than this stability would be better.

Review: Pretty— good.

Scene three: Home, Bill searching for his newly opened cookies, myself reading in bedroom.

Bill: Honey, where are the cookies?

Me: In the closet – near other crackers and cookies.

Bill: No they are not.

Moments later, Bill continues… Oh, wait, they are in the refrigerator – you must have put them there.


Review: Mixed, very mixed.

Scene four: My Home office/Call with new business partner to discuss new offer to potential joint clients.

Partner: Sounds good Pat – use your judgment with making the offer. We’re both flexible.

Me: OK, will keep you posted next week.

Me, post call: rethinks proposal and writes email to partner discussing next steps.

Review: Really good, quick, professional job.



Scene five: Home Goods store.

Me: Looking around for something for my house that my decorator says is “a must”.

Other shopper bumping into me: Oh sorry miss, I didn’t see you.

Me: Glowing having heard “miss” – oh no problem.

Review: Probably better than mixed – at least I wasn’t shopping in an outfit that marked me as “over the hill” or “helpless and lost” – which in Tucson is a VERY low bar, trust me.

Scene six: Home, Arizona lizard on the loose inside – small but still a lizard.

Me: Damn it – that makes 4 tries with no lizard caught – trying to do the drop the cloth over the lizard and grab him strategy suggested by those who help me run the house.

Me: Oh the hell with it – I will get someone else to catch the lizard.

Review: Delegation – getting better at it all the time.


Summary review: Hanging in at times by a string and at other times fantastically.  Consistently Fabulous may need some revisions to its definition.  Either that or I have to keep finding more people to delegate everything to except when I am feeling the urge to work on something that was always my long suit – which is hardly every day.  I am close to ready to give up trying to be fabulous on things I never was fabulous at to begin with.  Time to take a nap and think it all through.  Or at least time to take a nap.



Remember to Stop the Insanity!

Remember Susan Powter and that 1993 book Stop the Insanity?

Always loved that title. Her point was that most dieting and exercising routines were just silly and losing weight is rather simple and relatively straightforward. Not that the search doesn’t continue with Americans still hoping for the magic pill or other process to take off weight and keep it off.

This phrase hit me again when FabulousOver60 received a comment from a reader talking about her worries about her future daughter-in-law. Seems the woman’s family has one style – and the future daughter in law’s family is simply the opposite. What to do she asks?

Stop the insanity is what you do. Meaning, it is simple — take our mother’s (and the Bible’s) advice—reap what you sow!

By the time you are fabulous and over 60 if you haven’t figured this one out you have to make a change — and QUICK. This is old ground. The only reason you are hanging on to nutty ideas is pure intellectual laziness. Take it from those of us who get it – which I am 99.9% sure includes you – don’t make these OBVIOUS life mistakes:

  • Treat your family with little respect — offering unsolicited advice and commenting on faults of people from smoking to being overweight?  Result: Hurt feelings and lower family happiness
  • Treat grandchildren and other young people ‘generically’ — “so how’s school…?” Not seeing and experiencing each as a unique and prized person?  Result: Generic “hi poppy/hi grandma” semi interesting relationship with future generations.
  • Talk about your grandchildren all the time rather than focusing on your friends and THEIR lives and current life issues?  Result: Friend doesn’t say it, but thinks “who cares about Jimmy’s SAT scores and what happened to OUR friendship?”
  • Complain about a job search that is taking too long?  Result: Man from Mars comes down and wakes you up to today’s economic realities and current workplace — if you are looking to get back in the game figure out how the game is played!
  • Combining your money with a guy you just met who is 20 years younger and suddenly so interested in sharing?  Result: All together now – are you crazy???
  • Pretending you are not getting older only better?  Result: Delusion, and worse: making the same mistakes our parents made and dumping the responsibility for handling your inevitable future tough situations on your family.

We are educated, sophisticated, have been there and done that, are informed and connected. Yet we all somehow want a break from the eternal law of the universe.

We need to stop the insanity and start doing more things we know make us happy and sane and healthy. Exercise, positive realism, patience with ourselves, spa time, laughing out loud, spending sensibly, traveling, involvement with our passions, looking for the good, making hard but important choices and being optimistic about the future. “It is all good till it isn’t”.

My girlfriend Barbara said that yesterday – and it is the wisest advice for FabulousOver60s. Stop the insanity. Do the things you know work and dump the obvious mistakes. Enjoy your life while it is good — and when it suddenly isn’t any more, as is inevitable, move on with grace — and a lack of surprise.

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