Wikipedia shares that the Three Wise Monkeys, sometimes called the three mystic apes, are a pictorial maxim. Together they embody the proverbial principle “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” These monkeys have always aroused my curiosity and tested my wisdom as I have aged.
As the end of the year and the start of the holiday season begins, we all need guidance and support to not only continue to be fabulous, but to serve as fabulous role models to other women. The holiday season tests us, doesn’t it? You begin to wonder how to organize it and participate in it. Before any evidence is in, we start thinking that people are not going to live up to our arbitrary holiday standards. I also get a slightly sick feeling that whatever I do it isn’t quite fabulous enough. So why not let these monkeys give us some guidance? As fabulous women say – can’t hurt, might help.
Let’s start with Mizaru, covering his eyes, who sees no evil.
Last week while driving in Phoenix I saw a guy walking down the street with his penis out of his pants, slightly bouncing to the beat of his walk. Not sure anyone else but me noticed. Bill insists I was seeing things. Phoenix is a big driving town and thankfully most of the drivers are busy looking at the road ahead rather than to the sidewalk. Now, you may think this situation caused me to think – ‘let me see no evil’ – and ignore this man’s penis and send him positive vibes instead. While a great idea, that is not my point. My point is that looking or not looking at this man has nothing to do with the idea of seeing no evil. Seeing no evil is much less about avoiding trashy news (or partially dressed people) than it is the need to purposely focus our attention on the good, the positive and the meaningful.
I may have found part of “the answer” – and tens of thousands of others have too. It is the Good News Network, founded by a woman of course, in 1997. Geri Weis-Corbley is the world’s first positive news expert. One of the great quotes from readers includes this one from former Secretary of State Colin Powell: “Thank you for writing your newsletter, Some Good News. I enjoyed reading the positive stories . . . I am heartened by the goodness and generosity that I see in people . . . keep up the good work.” All the news on the site goodnewsnetwork.org is free, although one can become a member. And, it is not a non-profit. You might want to check out Geri’s blog from August on their 20th anniversary and of course sign up to get the good news daily. I did and it is inspiring me already.
The second monkey is Kikazaru, covering his ears, who hears no evil.
In the Shinto religion, monkeys are important beings. There are even festivals that are celebrated in the Year of the Monkey, which occurs every 12 years. It was the Year of the Monkey LAST year by the way. The next one will be 2028 – we won’t be writing this blog then but we’ll still be thinking of what that second monkeys can teach us. Like seeing no evil, the key to “not hearing” is not ignoring anything that doesn’t agree with your own narrow view of the world, but rather tuning in more strongly to those messages worth hearing. Deciding to never watch Fox or CNN, while perhaps a sensible idea in this climate, is not a decision to hear no evil.
Hearing no evil is the fabulous positive step of seeking out voices that are aching to be heard but often are not. The person shouting from the rooftops about some or another piece of nonsense is not worth taking our earphones out for. We need to listen to the other fabulous women – those with the quietest voices, children’s voices, voices of the marginalized and poor – which are often drowned out. Most importantly, we need to listen to our own inner voice – the one that tells us over and over again that we are fabulous when we choose to listen with, and listen through, our hearts.
Finally, we have Iwazaru covering his mouth, who speaks no evil.
Of course it goes without saying that fabulous women never gossip – except occasionally while drinking champagne to excess. Here’s what a fabulous woman does talk about. She talks about the holidays in positive ways. She skips the “sad” tales of what her family or friends are NOT doing right, well, or appropriately. She focuses on easy, fun, simple and caring ways to role model the spirit of the holidays. She is gracious – an old fashioned but wonderful word that describes what we all wish to be: full of grace and full of love, laughter and infinite patience. She also focuses on:
- Good news about others
- Her own expertise – especially when others seek out their advice in that area
- Her own stories – never other people’s
- Praise and more praise for everyone in her life
- How it is she is so lucky or blessed
- Things that make others happy, comfortable and that are truthful
Actually, there is a fourth monkey. Remember ‘do no evil’? Well, that’s for another blog – the one after the holidays that includes resolutions and returns. Yikes, let’s not get into that fourth monkey or returns yet. It is only Halloween, right?