new year

Never Stop Having Fun, It’s Seriously Underrated

New Year traditions have been overhauled for 2017.

For 99% of my adult life, the end of the year coincided with buying a blank book labeled with The New Year. It was used to write an analysis of the current year just ending (versus the goals and objectives I set out with) and then begin planning and big-picture thinking about the year ahead.  I would create several versions of my goals and often did this for each of what I thought of as “key areas”: health/fitness, business, friends, relationships, family, community, and often a new area like write book, graduate school, new office, move, or some category that related to a particular big area that was going to happen in the coming year.

By the first week of January, I was set to go.  Many items and specific strategies were already in the book and most goals were already memorized and I was set to take action.

I bought a lovely blue blank 2017 book at the end of 2016. It still sits idle and empty.  If you want to give it a home let me know.  Just never got focused on the big end-of- year analysis and next-year planning thing.  Maybe 2016 stressed me out too much, or I just lost interest in over-evaluating myself.

I have informally evaluated the year in my head – more than once. Many down arrows around plans – I had to jump start a work project that has been in fits and starts for nearly 15 years, one quite odd and one very tough health issue happened along, a plan I kept pushing never jelled, a different and very successful 45th college reunion was special. But then lots of up arrows around all I learned and all the fun and experiences from the first year of traveling all over for half the year.  I don’t seem to want to put it all down on paper much less get my goals out from the start of 2016, and check off the ones done and those undone.

What’s going on?

 

As I soon approach my 67th birthday on the 20th, I seem definitely less inclined to elaborately plan and set multiple goals in multiple areas anymore.  I am not feeling bad about what I used to do – just don’t feel in my heart it is what I need to do now.  Complexity doesn’t thrill me anymore.

It appears that I am now “getting” the big (but unoriginal) insights most people get when they are aging – even fabulously as my partner Cathy Green and I do.  Here’s a few: we all are going to die, and likely it won’t be a blast and it will be decades from now; everyone we know is in that same boat; we absolutely positively cannot and will not change anyone but ourselves. Changing ourselves can still happen – but we must get very strong, disciplined and focused. The standards we have for how our nieces, nephews, children, grandchildren, and people in general, should handle things is not just a complete fantasy and waste of time thinking about. It can take too much bandwidth, as my one friend says, and make you lose focus on what you can control: your own life.

Yes, the BIG insight has come through – success in life means staying on your own yoga mat.  Or, as our mothers’ used to say: mind your own business.  It wasn’t exactly the same point, but it worked for them. The yoga mat is more in keeping with being fabulous, since it implies we have to stay focused on ourselves and have to do it with discipline – our long-suit anyway. We would not be fabulous now if we hadn’t been super-disciplined then.

Here’s my new plan and goals for 2017.  Short, sweet, and I hope, freshly fabulous. My hope is it gets you thinking about your 2017 – in a new, light and happy way.

  1. Make money on the product I (and my partners) have focused on for 15 plus years. Get leverage from years of work already finished. Continue to make it better as it takes off. New technology will allow us to sell it quickly (January and February launches are set) see what works, what doesn’t and what maybe never will.  Dump it or celebrate it.
  1. Feel as good as I can every day. Exercise, meditate, pray, give time and attention to those in need who are present on my road. On the days I can’t do these things, take a longer nap.
  1. Use some new inputs for spiritually, reflection, growth – mix it up a bit. Get off old lists, or emails and get on newer ones. Constantly curate my world.
  1. Continue to write. Continue to read good books. Watch more Netflix. When in doubt or any distress, listen to classical or spa music.
  1. Have as much fun, find reasons to laugh and do as many new things as possible – both alone and with those I love. Travel frequently but lightly.
  1. Coach people I love and know I can influence – keep that group very small. Let my tribe thrive (those who matter) and keep those close who care, and detach from those who don’t, without any thought. If something needs a great deal of analyzing, skip it.

Guess I am set – I feel a little naked with this short a list.  But as I continue to be challenged by aging and its numerous losses and surprises, I recommit to the less is more approach. Focus on what matters. Forget everything else. Never stop changing as the situation demands, and absolutely never stop having fun.  It’s seriously underrated.

Patty

Don’t Forget To Write Thank You Notes For Your Holiday Gifts!

Here are four things that I believe are important about sending thank you notes. I hope you’ll agree!

  1. Do it SOON. Although sending notes is better late than never, there’s no time like NOW. The gift-giver probably spent more time picking out your gift than you spent opening it. So spend a few minutes right away writing a thank you note. This week would be a perfect time.
  2. Don’t use email, texts or voice mail messages. Sorry, these just don’t work for us fabulous women! If you’re a teenager, maybe it’s OK. But once you are an adult and are giving gifts to or receiving gifts from other adults, you’ll need to send a note in an envelope with a stamp! (I think teenagers should send handwritten notes to grandparents and other adults, too, but that’s another story.)
  3. Make your note personal and sincere. Tell the gift-giver why you like the gift and/or how you’re going to use it.
  4. Write a note even if you’ve thanked the gift-giver in person. It takes so little time and will generate such great feelings.

Family members and friends who gave me gifts this holiday season deserve a few minutes of my time, a card or piece of stationery, and a stamp. Don’t yours?

Cathy

2017 Is Almost Here, But 2016 Keeps Surprising Me!

No, this is not going to be about the election.  If you are one of the 3 people who are still frequently following the news on the political front, God bless you, but don’t contact me.  I, like most, have temporarily shaken off “the real state of affairs” and put it on a shelf to deal with later… much later.

What I am talking about is how, even in these waning days of 2016, things are happening that seem uniquely odd, sad, strange and surprising. That which makes us wonder again and again: what’s going on with this crazy year?  Here’s a few situations from my own last week.

I hadn’t paid a bill on time and got a late charge and note from my account – Saks Fifth Avenue of all cards!!  Ah some things do NOT change.  In any case, I missed the payment in all the Christmas crazies but decided on December 26th to give them a call and start arranging to have money just taken out automatically.  A warm voice greeted me.

“Hi, I’m Helen from (popular credit card company), how can I help you?”

Helen needed my birthday to proceed and when I gave it to her (1/20/50 in case you may have forgotten), she got even warmer and said, “you know I have a January birthday too and turning 62 – and just think it is time for makeover/do-over of my looks”.  15 minutes later we were still talking about makeup for women in their fabulous 60s and I hadn’t even paid my bill.  Then we got “down to business” and she just told me she was waving my late fee and interest charges – and all I had to pay was $x – it was done quickly.  We wished each other with happy New Year and hung up cordially.  I was wondering if an angel had sent this woman to me or I was talking to one of the few service people who makes your heart sing.  What was THAT about?

Guess it proves that any woman can connect with another woman other even when they are total strangers.  Isn’t that fabulous and surprising?  Right now, if Cathy Green, my Fabulous blog partner is reading this she is shaking her head and saying: “that isn’t surprising at all for you Patty – for anyone else, yes, a total shock”.

Someone I know is going through a divorce.  Yes, getting divorced over Christmas is only slightly less disturbing than the absolutely biggest nightmare you can ever imagine. Why anyone would divorce during the holidays is astonishing to me.  Nothing is going right. The players are acting, shall we say, “strangely” and the fallout is breaking hearts and confusing even the most even-tempered and spiritual of the inner circle.  Do people have to been so cruel to each other NOW – as one of the toughest years ever is ending?  It is breaking my heart that I can’t help the situation.

A friend I met through church is retiring and also having a big birthday.  I thought that I could be so helpful to her now – after all, I am a life coach (does the phrase ‘who cares’ come to mind?).  Point being I thought “she needed me”.  We had a great lunch – she was everything fun, mature, thoughtful, loving, sophisticated in her thinking and offering some solid advice to ME about handling a few things.  So much for me being needed – my lunch FOR my friend was a surprise – it was a lunch WITH one fabulous woman who I obviously needed to listen to.  Not that I didn’t already know that.  But still.

And then there was a long overdue call with a friend from back east, who unfortunately had a bad fall down some hard to see steps early in December and was recovering.  A surprising event for anyone; but the accident itself seemed sadly typical of 2016.  But here is the really surprising thing: my friend’s accident seemed to not just be a royally painful episode in her life, but had a transformative positive effect on her personally. It opened her up to learning and healing in a way that was going to definitely redefine 2017 for her. Yikes – someone actually DOES turn lemons into lemonade.

The last days of 2016 aren’t exactly comforting.  Could there be more of living life in a salad spinner coming up in 2017?  I am not sure what’s ahead, and I do want to wish everyone love, peace and hope in the New Year.  It seems to me that maybe our old standbys like loving ourselves, giving ourselves a break, being there for others and not expecting to be able to solve their issues, and to just trying to lighten up our hearts to hear and experience the unexpected with grace is going to be the very best we can do.  But you know my dear fabulous women, this list is more than enough.

We aren’t the center of the world anymore – let’s take one of the REAL benefits of aging: letting the next generation figure out how to make things work as we enter 2017.  While we don’t want to just have our lives be waiting for a Publisher’s Clearing House contest to make it all better, a little bit of the old song “what will be will be” is in order.

Don’t let that scare you like it scared our parents.  Just try your best to have a happy new year!  Trust me, 2017 is going to be fabulous.  That would be a wonderful and much-welcomed surprise we really need.

Patty

%d bloggers like this: