women’s health

My Mixed Reviews On Being Fabulous

Am I fabulous?  Am I keeping myself strong both personally and professionally? Pulled together? Sharp? Am I doing what I want in ways that are sane, fulfilling and that mark me as a woman who is handling her sixties with grace, style, wit and proper modesty?  Am I continuing to grow, keeping my head and heart and body strong and functioning, or am I just — well, you know — just another NOT fabulous women.

Let me share some feedback.

Scene one: Doctor’s Office/Having yearly physical.

Nurse: Now, try to remember these three words: Table, Apple, Fence.  We’ll come back to those in just a few moments.  Blah blah blah for 5 minutes.

Nurse: What were those three words?

Me: Hmmm… was Apple one of them?

Review: Mixed, very mixed.

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Scene two: Doctor’s Office/Yearly physical

Doctor: You still weigh 105+ (feel free to guess, I am not sharing).

Doctor: It is great how your weight is so stable.

Me: Thanks, said softly

Me thinking: stable is good — 5lbs less than this stability would be better.

Review: Pretty— good.

Scene three: Home, Bill searching for his newly opened cookies, myself reading in bedroom.

Bill: Honey, where are the cookies?

Me: In the closet – near other crackers and cookies.

Bill: No they are not.

Moments later, Bill continues… Oh, wait, they are in the refrigerator – you must have put them there.

Me: REALLY?

Review: Mixed, very mixed.

Scene four: My Home office/Call with new business partner to discuss new offer to potential joint clients.

Partner: Sounds good Pat – use your judgment with making the offer. We’re both flexible.

Me: OK, will keep you posted next week.

Me, post call: rethinks proposal and writes email to partner discussing next steps.

Review: Really good, quick, professional job.

via drpatgillwebber.com

via drpatgillwebber.com

Scene five: Home Goods store.

Me: Looking around for something for my house that my decorator says is “a must”.

Other shopper bumping into me: Oh sorry miss, I didn’t see you.

Me: Glowing having heard “miss” – oh no problem.

Review: Probably better than mixed – at least I wasn’t shopping in an outfit that marked me as “over the hill” or “helpless and lost” – which in Tucson is a VERY low bar, trust me.

Scene six: Home, Arizona lizard on the loose inside – small but still a lizard.

Me: Damn it – that makes 4 tries with no lizard caught – trying to do the drop the cloth over the lizard and grab him strategy suggested by those who help me run the house.

Me: Oh the hell with it – I will get someone else to catch the lizard.

Review: Delegation – getting better at it all the time.

clarks-spiny-lizard-1

Summary review: Hanging in at times by a string and at other times fantastically.  Consistently Fabulous may need some revisions to its definition.  Either that or I have to keep finding more people to delegate everything to except when I am feeling the urge to work on something that was always my long suit – which is hardly every day.  I am close to ready to give up trying to be fabulous on things I never was fabulous at to begin with.  Time to take a nap and think it all through.  Or at least time to take a nap.

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Patty

Patty’s response: Am I really old enough for that?

Patty Gill Webber’s response to Cathy Green’s latest post entitled “Am I really old enough for that?

Yes Cathy, we are occasionally crotchety — that is, we are, as you quote: given to whims, cranky or ill tempered. If we were young, people might just think we are “having our period” — but at this stage most people likely have guessed we are over that whole thing. It really was a pain, literally, but it served a universal purpose to let us off the hook for assorted down days or foul moods.

At this stage, we can pretend to have our periods — but that is beyond silly. So, we have to own our moods — even with Prozac. Fabulous women actually have a good excuse for being crotchety. Let’s start by calling it discerning. We know quality, we appreciate the best of all things in life, and our opinions are therefore more valuable than other random, less critically sophisticated folks. So, when reflecting on anything in our day, accomplished women are just more likely to have a negative opinion, rightly so, of some place or service.

However, knowing this “newly invented fabulous wisdom” isn’t helping me feel better about being old enough to be considered crotchety (or discerning), and I feel even worse about some of those synonyms like irascible, perverse, snarky and snippety.

This diva has decided to take action! Sophisticated women always have to-do lists — they are now often online but no shorter. I will meditate more to rise above all the dozens of truly annoying nonsense in my life. I will do yoga, focus on what is RIGHT with my life (can we stand hearing one more time to be grateful?) and attend Church more frequently. I will even try to surround myself with those who have a more positive attitude — sorry Cathy — we may just have to talk less, even with our Fabulous Over 60 project going on.

Oh damn it! People and services have gone to hell in a hand basket (if you remember this you too are old enough to be crotchety)! Oh my lord — I am crotchety! Cathy — call you tonight to discuss some others who crossed my path today — you just won’t believe — at least I am going to try to hide my increasing annoyance with cars, stores, service people, restaurants, boutiques, work projects, volunteer work, family, friends, politicians, business executives and socialites (now there is a job category — not fabulous for sure). That effort to hide annoyance — that effort to appear NOT crotchety counts for something doesn’t it? OK, let’s go back to the fact that we are discerning, even if no one knows what that really means — we can’t yet be old enough to be crotchety can we?

Not everyone gets it and that is a good thing

Went to a spa last week (spas are BIG for fabulous women) and had a ball with my step-daughter whom I adore. We were celebrating her birthday – wonderful time.

On the way to the spa I stopped for a cup of coffee at a deli — out in “nowheresville”. Us women understand exactly the location of that.

Standing in line for coffee the man behind me said sweetly — “wow, you have your name on your top”. Stunned for a moment I was looking around trying to see PATTY or PAT written on my shirt.

Of course the light bulb came on. Just like in the Steven Spielberg blockbuster Back to the Future, when the protagonist’s mother is waking Michael J. Fox’s character from his rest and says “Calvin? Calvin Klein?” This nice man thought the name Lucy on my shirt was my name.

A fabulous, classy women laughs softly and thanks the man but notes it is just a brand. I did that.

Driving away to the spa I realized the eternal truth of life — I AM NOT THE CENTER OF IT. 99% of people probably have never been to a spa and wearing brand name exercise clothes is rare.

Annoying though this is, it is a good thing. It would get really crowded everywhere if everyone was just like us. And us fabulous, remarkable women like our privacy and space.

My Final Pap Smear and Other Profound Discoveries

I went to the doctor for my check-up earlier this week and had “my last pap smear”.  Why?  I am 62, in good health, and although it might make sense to have one now since it had been a few years, by the time I’m due again (every three years are the new guidelines – not every year like we experienced growing up) I will be over 65 and not need one at all.

There are some things we gladly give up.  You would think this would be up there with stopping menstruating.  But when Dr. K (30 something, gorgeous and smart) told me I didn’t need another one because I was too old to need one, it sort of hurt.  Ouch.  Then I had lunch this week with a friend and former business colleague who shared that she was depressed when she stopped menstruating.  Let me stop myself from saying “really??” But… really?

We’ve always known—or should have, that life is about loss.  See everything wonderful and true written by Judith Viorst.  There is not a woman over 60 out there that hasn’t gotten an email with the Nora Ephron excerpt on “the honest truth is that it’s sad to be over 60”. But in case you missed it, and are in the mood to feel slightly funky, charmed by her style, but sad – read this.

Why would Fabulous Over 60 co-creator Cathy and I think we can or should disagree with these outstanding women professionals who changed our lives for the better with their brilliant work and fun styles?  I want to believe that the title of our blog is true and that there is a beautiful life out there for anyone who keeps pitching and trying to pull it off.

Judith, Nora, Cathy and I fundamentally agree—life DOES mean loss—but giving up and throwing in the towel by stopping coloring your hair can never be forgiven.  And attempts to push back the clock just a bit by putting on something now and again that is definitely “too young” for you is good for the soul.  Since Nora is deceased, and Judith doesn’t know us really, you have to take our word for it.

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